Sunday, Apr. 13, 2003

100 things...

1. I was born in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.

2. I grew up in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

3. I currently live in Los Angeles, California, USA.

4. I like Canadians better than Americans in general.

5. I'm a chocoholic, although less so now that I live in the US.

6. I grew up in a Fundamentally Christian home.

7. It wasn't all bad! I liked youth group events.

8. The bad parts were magical thinking, sheltered world view, unnecessary fears, and whatever else.

9. I was married from age 19 - 23.

10. I divorced and left Christianity at the same time.

11. This was hard. My parents didn't talk to me for a few months, when they finally did, my father told me that life would never work out for me.

12. I had my first alcoholic drink at age 23.

13. I was the black sheep of the family until my sibling changed gender.

14. I love my brother very much. We are close. Unfortunately, we haven't lived in the same city since I was 16.

15. In grade school I took piano lessons and played the clarinet in band.

16. In Jr. High I switched over to drums/percussion and I have played drums ever since.

17. I volunteered at a downtown street mission (shelter) from age 15 - 22.

18. I played in a blues/rock band during that time. The other members were scruffy old men who taught me a lot about music!

19. I used to borrow my mother's car to go to youth group events. But first I would cruise downtown and pick up the street kids that I knew.

20. I remember picking up this kid and taking him to an event. We were at Boston Pizza, and he turned to me and handed me a hit of acid. He said, "Take this from me. I don't want to do it." So I took it to the bathroom and flushed it.

21. I've done marijuana, but no other drugs. I would probably do weed more often if it was legal, but in general, I'm a rule follower, and don't want the hassle of purchasing it. Plus, I'm nervous about what other random shit might be in the weed.

22. I really hate people that do hard drugs or are into drug culture. I HATED the movie Trainspotting. I'm not sure where all this judgementalism comes from when it comes to drugs.

23. As a child I used to pray to god that he would never send me any kind of vision, angel or demon, or anything! I didn't want to see anything. I was very afraid of 'spiritual warfare'.

24. I had a lot of 'spiritual warfare' dreams as a kid/teenager. All this demon shit flying around me, I would have to spout off the words such as, "I AM A CHILD OF JESUS CHRIST AND YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME. I AM COVERED BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND MY NAME IS WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE. I BIND YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AND COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE." blah blah blah. But the thing is, is that it didn't always work. And sometimes I wasn't able to talk. I couldn't move my lips. I started to resent this, and one night I dreamt I was on the toilet and demons came. I tried to speak my shpeil, but I couldn't make my lips say 'Jesus'. But I was so fed up that I was just trying to take a shit and those demons were coming around. Plus, God wasn't going to help me unless I could say the magic words? I got pissed off at this in my dream and said, "Forget it! I'm sick of this stupid game! I'm just trying to go to the bathroom! Demons, do whatever!" And poof! They were gone. No more demon dreams!

25. My childhood best friend was a boy named Derek. We were always singing songs together. Even in grade 10. But... they were weird little songs with nonsense words.

26. In high school I would eat my lunch in the fire escape stairwell, alone. Sometimes I would skip class and sleep there.

27. I'm an average sized woman, but I have always struggled with fat thoughts. I've thought I was fat since I was... 10 or 11.

28. I'm 28 years old.

29. My ex-husband and I are still friends. He's a good guy.

30. I didn't take any art classes in high school - too busy with band. But I did a lot of drawing at home.

31. I have a BFA and a BED. One degree is for me, one for my Ma. But... I do benefit from the regular paycheck from teaching.

32. I don't think I talked to anyone in University until my third year. It was shyness mixed with a fear of 'worldy ideas' infecting my brain.

33. I've been teaching now for 6 years. I've taught Jr. High, High School, and adults at various public schools, including a school for Native American students.

34. I don't like being a leader. I don't really like using my big loud voice to tell people what to do all day. But I've learned to do it anyway.

35. I currently teach a grade 4/5 class of em0tionally d1sturbed students.

36. I use my evenings and weekends to paint and draw. My goal is to make art for a living.

37. My fave fast food is Tito's Tacos.

38. I moved to L.A. to be a part of a bigger art scene.

39. When my father learned that this was the reason, he told me, "You will fail. You will never succeed at that art of yours because it is against God's will."

40. He said this because my art centers around nudes.

41. I once told my mother that he said this. She then asked him about it. When she got back to me she said that he has no recollection of saying that. AUGH!

42. My parents, my Dad, they aren't all that bad. They're just trying to make their way. They're just who they are. I try to love them.

43. I talk to my parents about once every two or three months. It is ALWAYS me calling them.

44. Even though I was born in Montreal, I don't remember much French. C'est dommage!

45. After my marriage, I had a string of like, two-weekers. Then I had I boyfriend for a year and a half before I moved.

46. I once projectile vomited in a cab driver's face (he had turned around to talk to us at the wrong moment) and then after the guy who was taking care of me got me safely into bed I told him that he had the smallest penis I had ever seen, and I never wanted to see him again.

47. I never did.

48. I've kept a written journal since age 10.

49. I've had an online journal since 1999.

50. I've never left this continent.

51. I'd like to travel one day, but I don't really crave it like some people do.

52. When I moved here, I didn't know anyone, so I stayed at the home of one of my journal readers!

53. My boyfriend at the time helped me move here.

54. Shortly after I moved here I started going out with Ben. We've been together for 2.5 years now.

55. There were 3 break-ups in there. All instigated by me.

56. I reveal a little less in this online journal that when I first started.

57. I've had a threesome before. It was me, another girl and a guy. The guy kept complaining of feeling left out. HA! that's funny. I learned that vaginas are A-Ok! I had a lot more self-acceptance after that.

58. I wouldn't do it again. a) it's too much work. b) I would rather develop a serious, committed relationship.

59. I think that I could have a relationship with a woman, just as well as with a man. But I don't want to live in a subculture. I'm too lazy. I don't want to fight for my rights or 'make a statement' or anything. I really only pursue men.

60. I like listening to Dr. Laura when I get the chance.

61. I used to rock climb.

62. I was on the Jr. High Girl's basketball team.

63. In Sr. High I didn't join any clubs or teams. Just band stuff.

64. I was part of a kickboxing gym (Muay Thai) for a couple of years. It was fun! Currently I do kickboxing classes as a workout, but it's less serious.

65. I've only punched people in the ring. I've never hit anyone for real, in self-defense or anger. But I would like to experience that once in my life.

66. While married, my husband had me take a beginner's gun class. He had a gun collection and wanted me to be informed. It was fun! My fave gun was the glock.

67. I love cats. But I don't want to own one.

68. I was once depressed and I had a suicide plan. I became fearless at this time - very enlightening.

69. I've been a regular worker-outer since my University days (Yanks, please note that Canadians say this rather than "college". It's not to be pompous.)

70. I laugh when people fart or fall down.

71. I love reality tv shows.

72. I don't wear skirts or dresses, and I rarely wear shorts.

73. I cry easily.

74. I've needed glasses since grade 9. I have three pairs of glasses that I wear, and sometimes I wear contact lenses.

75. I've never broken a bone.

76. I once had McDonald's chicken mcnuggets and then I barfed 16 times. I've never had them since.

77. I still don't really like to eat chicken from a restaurant.

78. I love hamburgers and fish. Steak is gross.

79. I would like to have more friends.

80. I've been blonde for most of my life but I recently dyed my hair brown. FUN! I feel more annonymous and relaxed.

81. I can't act, and I don't like to be the center of attention. I became very cranky on my wedding day. It was embarrassing to be watched the whole time.

82. I read before bed every night, except when Ben is here.

83. I can't cook.

84. My hair reaches the middle of my back. I'm going to grow it down to my ass and then cut all of it off.

85. I have tb. tiny bladder.

86. I occasionally race my bf's S2000 around an autocross track. I'm not bad!

87. I like my boobs. They're nice.

88. I once had a sleep paralysis/night terror experience. I hope I never have another one.

89. I like reading biographies and autobiographies.

90. A former friend thinks that I raped him. I never thought I would be accused of rape!! I was the last person with him before he was raped in the ass. He doesn't remember it because he was drugged, aparently. But it wasn't me. I can't believe he thinks it was me. I think he's losing his mind.

91. I am afraid of getting alzhiemers from the titanium in my anti-persperant. But, I don't want to stink. And deoderant just doesn't work as good. And rubbing a crystal in my armpit seems retarded.

92. I have three years left to be in this country under my current visa. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. I haven't decided what I want.

93. I think society worships children too much. Kids aren't that great.

94. I love Las Vegas.

95. I've slept naked since about age 15. I move around in my sleep and can't stand clothes twisting around me.

96. I laugh and cry out loud in my sleep, from my dreams.

97. Perfumes make me feel ill.

98. I have little interest or respect for sculpture. sorry. it's boring.

99. Sometimes I have laughing fits where I can't stop and i'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

100. I hope everything will be ok.

_________________________________________________________________

>what i'm painting: purples, golds

>what sucks: dirty dishes

>what doesn't: a week off!

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